I got the news today that I am not a candidate for the middle ear surgery.

What we were hoping to be found on the CT scans was a problem with my middle ear, specifically the three bones that turn air waves into vibration. Whether they had become spongy, malformed or in general they were not properly intact and functioning.

Oddly enough the day before I got the results (yesterday) in Audiology class, we discussed both the surgery and the condition I have (and why it makes me not a candidate for surgery). The description of my hearing pattern and whatnot during the class led me to believe that I wasn't a candidate, or that I wouldn't get a completely "normal" hearing level due to the mixed style of loss.

So not only that, but, my hearing disability is definitely dangerous, and its degenerative nature is absolute.
I'm sad upon hearing the results, I prepared for both possibilities, but knowing how bad my inner ears are from being underdeveloped, has hurt more than I expected.
When I got the message I cried,  very unexpectedly and uncontrollably.

Well, just felt I'd update on that situation.